How To Be Welcome In Every Dancefloor In The World?
Bachatero, Salsero, Kizombero,Zoukero…
Get Awareness : dancers around you are people first.
Do we all have the capacity to be welcome in your dance community? Or maybe the question is “Do we all have THE SAME capacity to be welcome in your dance community?”. The answer is: “NO”. Some people are naturally sociable, confident and cheerful with people. But I have a good news for you: THIS IS TEACHABLE, you can LEARN IT, you can TRAIN to be more accepted in your dance community.
I had to learn optimism, I had to learn to be sociable, I had to learn to have gratitude and be connected with people in the dance community . HUMILITY! I have realized that all the people I have met in my dance journey made me who I am now, what I became as a dancer and also as a person.
My name is Mohamed Aissa, I am the founder of Bachata Influence. It is an honor to be with you today. I would like to congratulate you because if you are here it means that you are convinced that technique AND mindset are important to have a successful dance journey. You are open minded, and ready for a new exploration so for that I would like you to applause you .
Today we are not you the “audience” and me the “presenter”: No, today we are promoters.
Promoters of what? Happiness, and harmony in the dance community . Every time I start a conference, I like saying to myself that I am here for you. For 1 person I will maybe meet in 1 month…2 months…1 year…5 years later and will tell me how much this conference was inspiring. And I have already gratitude because 1 person contacted me and said how much the first conference “how to be a good bachata dancer in 7 steps” was impacting her dance journey.
So, id like to spend a moment together to see 1 key, 1 idea, 1 concept, 1 story which might make a difference for you in your dance reality, from today . I will give you the essential to be welcome in your dance community and feel better among people. Does it resonate to your desire too?
Two case studies of dancers: who are you?
The 1st dancer is a good dancer, skilled in term of technique and self-confident but…not welcome in his dance community. The 2nd dancer is a good person with wonderful human values but so shy that he is rejected by his dance community . So you are asking “Why” it is possible? It is all about the Mindset and Spirit . The people focused on their ego or shyness cannot be fully welcome in a community of dancers .
And you know what? These 2 dancers were …me . 10 years ago I had to fight against my shyness to be able to invite a lady for a dance even in workshop or have a public dance during a party. Years after years you know the dance better, the people better, you get success…more and more success until it causes a damage (ego). Few months ago, I realized how much it was important to clean my ego to be more welcome in my dance community.
All of you have already experienced this reality in a period of your life: you feel you are not 100% welcome in your dance community, yes? Your story matters: I would like you to think about your dream as a dancer? See yourself as the dancer of your dream. Feel it. What do you feel seeing yourself being the dancer of your dream? Feel the emotion of being proud of yourself, joy, happiness, fun, the people applause you, you are an inspiration for dancers… And now, the question is: Can you do it alone? No…you need people around you to give you inspiration, to train you, to support you, to applause you, to congratulate you
Action: Raise your hand for all of you who want to feel welcome in your dance community?
We need people to succeed, we need our dance community to grow . I cannot say that after this conference you will 100% succeed. But I can guarantee you 100% that if you have the wrong mind, you will fail . So, what is the plan to be more welcome in your dance community? . How to be a dancer/DJ/teacher/organizer/influencer with a positive social impact and influence? .
What can you do NOW , NOT TOMORROW, NOT IN 1 WEEK which can generate result NOW?
We have all fears. Me too I have fears now, I am taking a risk to promote a message. But the most important is that when I think about you and the community I feel less stress than when I think about my “ass” You can note it in bold “if you think about your ass, you stress’’ haha “When you leave this conference and a friend is asking you bah what did you learn from Mohamed bah that I will stop thinking about my ass haha” .
How much it cost the dancer you are today? What is the value of your dance experience today ? Financially? The community makes you as a dancer and as a person so what is the value of your community? M?
How can we go from a shy person or a person with a big ego to a person very welcome in his dance community? Ladies and gentleman, welcome on board .
I will not deliver you the whole content of the conference in this article. But here the first part.
What is your best strategy? Incivility VS Civility .
Who do you want to be? It is a simple question but every day you answer or not, it defines your actions. This simple question will define your success and failure in your dance journey. Because the way you show yourself and treat people means everything!
There are 2 ways:
- EITHER you lift the people UP by respecting them, making them valued, appreciated and heard.
- OR, you put people down by making them small, insulted, disregarded or excluded.
AND who you choose to be means everythng.
- Respect and be civil will lift you up YOU+your DC.
- Disrespect and you will put yourself AND your DC down …
Incivility does not pay !
You are the origin:
What is “Incivility?” It is disrespect and rudeness. It includes a lot of different behavior in and out of the dancefloor. In and out of reality: the social networks.
- From mocking people about their dance to using offensive jokes..
- From refusing a dance invitation in a rude ay to hitting your dance partner physically because as a leader you don’t protect your partner from the crowed on the dancefloor.
- From looking around and not your partner even one time the whole dance to saying publicly in a workshop “you are a bad dancer”.
Rudeness can affect people more than you think. You can destroy a person! Maybe we do it unconsciously but anytime it happens it has consequences.
I saw a girl in Madrid during the biggest festival in the world to be seriously injured on the dancefloor and driven to the hospital.: result? Fracture of the ankle because the leader did not care of the people around and his rude leading was a weapon at the end. The girl was seriously damaged after a shock with another person around. A rude leading can lead to a catastrophe. After 6 month of intense physiotherapy, this dancer did not have the chance to get back her original elasticity. She was a professional dancer, she loved that: he broke that !!! How many boys or girls are crossing the line of the moral? How many boys are touching girls sexually on the dancefloor because “it is about Bachata sensual”?
Whatever the incivility, it can have consequences in term of humanity, self-confidence, and can lead to psychological/physical trauma .
You are the witness:
Incivility on the dancefloor or on the social network is a bug: a virus. It is contagious and you can get this virus just by being a witness of that. You can catch this virus on the dancefloor, at a workshop, festival, on fb, twitter, Instagram, youtube : the last comment I received on youtube was “your video is a bullshit” haha peace and love. This person motivated me to spread my message face to face, now.
It affect our EMOTIONS (I saw a lady crying dancing with her boyfriend after rude words), MOTIVATIONS (I had a discussion with a very good bachata dancer, a friend of mine saying that she has less passion for dancing because 2 communities are fighting each other in her city), PERFORMANCE (say before a show to your dance partner that she is a choice by default and see the results…).
The consequences happen not just when you are the victim but also when you are the witness.The consequences happen when you hear or read a rude comment/insults/words Incivility has such a huge cost. Unfortunately, there will be always some exceptions of some assholes who succeed despite their incivility. Soon or later most of uncivil dancers sabotage their success.
A respectful dancer will have always an advantage on the long term period .
Civility does pay !
What about the nice guys? What about the nice girls? Does civility pays? Yes it does! Being civil means doing the small things like smiling and saying hello on and around the dancefloor looking into the eyes of the people. Listening fully when someone is speaking to you .
Yes civility pays, people see you as a WARM+ FRIENDLY and COMPETENT+SMART person . Respect is more important than our learning skills, dance technique, style or musically united. So, where do you start? How can you lift up the people in your DC? it does not require a huge change and small actions can make a huge difference .Thanking people, congratulate, listening attentively, humbly asking questions, recognizing other, smiling are important .
Do you want a GOLDEN RULE?
SAY HELLO+SMILE+EYE CONTACT when you are dancing, having a conversation,arriving at a party or workshop, yes?
How does it cost? Nothing! How much valuable it is? Priceless ! We can do better, each one of us can be more meaningful and take actions to lift people up! Who do you want to be? Off the incivility, On the civility, after all it pays, yes!
Do you want to know more secrets to avoid temporary or long term REJECTION?
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