“The problem is not the current dance issue. The problem is your attitude about the dance issue”
Ladies love to be asked to dance, but sometimes they wonder why other are being asked and they are not.
The overall goal is to get on the floor earlier in your evening. The more you are seen dancing, the more you get asked unless you look unhappy about existing dances. The real question is: “how do you get started?”
Men are pretty simple:
First, let’s start with the obvious. Men are pretty simple, and if you make it easier for them to ask you, more men will ask.
At a newer club or event, it helps to take the class before the dancing starts if one is offered. You meet leads as you rotate during the class and some will ask you to dance if you had a fun attitude. You may not need the but it’s still an excellent way to get some new dance friends. You can also say something like “save me a dance later…” before you rotate. Few guys ca resist that invitation. As seen above, once you are seen dancing on the floor, your odds for another dance go way up.
If you are dressed fashionably, you improve your odds of being asked to dance. No need to be dressed like a model but the “I am going to Home depot for some painting supplies” is not always a winning one.
Most guys are not looking for the perfect partner with years of dance experience, or the best looking female in the room. If they do not know you already, being reasonably fashionable, approchable, and looking like you are having fun is a great start.
Location, location, location.
Almost all the clubs have a “sweet spot” or location where the ladies are more likely to be asked. Figure out that location in each club if you are not getting enough dances; make it your spot when you are not taking a break.
Once you finsih a dance, do not rush off the floor. Many times another lead will ask you on your way off the floor if they can catch you. it is just easier to ask you as you are leaving the floor rather than chasing after you because you were walking quickly.
Your goal i not returning to the sweet spot, but walking with confidence toward the area at a comfortable pace. Look guys in the eye as they pass, and a smile does not hurt either. Even when they already have a partner for the next dance, some will bookmark you for a later dance.
While standing and waiting on the sweet spot, avoid the “potted-plant” immitation. Move, groove and create the “i am having fun with or without you” type of vibe. Guys are attracted to movement, and some simple movement makes you a more inviting partner compared to others just standing in place. You do not have to be dramatic about it, but more is better than less in most cases.
Look like you are having fun. This is huge. Few leads cre if you are a world class dancer, they would rather dance with someone who has more miodest skills, a great attitude and a sincere smile than a Britney Spears wannabe-diva, who looks bored with the dance.
Wearing dance shoes is also a major plus. Because the guys will admire your feminine and your look.
Avoid sitting until you really want a rest. If you do sit and want to dance, do not get too far from the dance floor. They will think you are shy or just want to watch. Some leads avoid any situation where they may get turned down.
Use a good dance experience as a booster:
If you have a great dance with a lead, ask him if any of his friends dance as well as he dances. He will be flattered and introduce you to the other good leads he knows or will come back to you thanks to your compliment.
If all else is not working, ask a few leads yourself, and do it with smile. You may get turned down by a random rude guy, but 98% will say “sure” if you ask nicely.
Guys know what it feels like to be turned down, and they very rarely turn down a lady asking. by the way, regular attendance, taking the classes before the social dancing, a pleasant attitude, some fashion sense and standing around the sweet spot will increase your chances to be asked.
Keep improving your following skills and musicality as you build up your dance friend list. Over time, you will be hiding from leads at points just to get a needed dance break. That is really a much better problem then sitting all niht watching others when you want to be on the floor. And of course you have the power to say also “no”.
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