Top five regrets you will have at the end of your dance life

Top five regrets of the dying bachata dancer

via GIPHY

A nurse has recorded the most common regrets of the dying.

What would your biggest regret be if this was your last day of your life?

In other word, how would you dance if it was your last dance ever?

Let’s understand the source of this article by introducing Bronnie Ware.

Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. “When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently,” she says, “common themes surfaced again and again.”

If you put in perspective the results of her fantastic human study here what we can say about you, dancer of bachata.

Here are your top five regrets of the dancer.

Regret

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a dance life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

“This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.”

If you refer to dance it is obvious in this modern society every dancer wants get inspired the international artists/others and there is such a big social pressure for the dance  that few people dare be themselves on the dance floor. I spoke with a dancer last week and she told me “Mohamed, if the girls do not wear a “bachatera dress”, heels and “uniform” then the men do not invite us. I made the choice to be myself and to dance with my sneakers and remain natural”.

She concluded by saying “stop to the “bitchatera style”. We can dance for…dancing”. Well, the “youtube generation” does not help. There are videos everywhere. and the social dancers in congresses or the artists are putting away the limits further. The level is higher and higher. In this condition, hard to start dancing or following your own intention, goals, dream, dance personality. At the end, if you pause and ask: “which dancer i want to be?” or say “I love the dancer i am and i will not let other say which dancer i have to be” you have already made the difference. Allow to be yourself..

You take the responsibility of your dance journey and your happiness is not “what they expect to you”. Your happiness is what makes you inspired right now according to your personal and authentic motivations/ goals in dance.

Yes? Now, stop reading and pause and think about it connecting this regret with your dance experience.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

“This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”

In your case of dancer i have a good news. The amount of your dance is not connected with the amount of the happiness generated. Even if practice is important, you should not be the victim of a severe discipline. You need to progress yes and in a smooth way. be kind with yourself and when you need a break, pause, think and start again with a fresh energy.

Yes? Now, stop reading and pause and think about it connecting this regret with your dance experience.

via GIPHY

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”

As a dancer, you should not dance for impressing but for expressing. You are not here for a show off, this is not a stage, this is a dance floor where you must share a feeling before the technique. With the multiplication of the courses and congresses we tend to forget it. A dance is an experience not a marathon. Offer, give and do not require. Only share your love. When you invite or are invited, share your love. are you  grateful for your teacher or dancers? say it “i love you because…”

During and at the end of the dance share a compliment, a hug, a smile, well this about humanity before being a dance.

Yes? Now, stop reading and pause and think about it connecting this regret with your dance experience.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

“Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”

We have multiple contacts but few friends in the dancing area right? Try to maintain the relations and go deeper than a dance.

Have you organized a restaurant time with 20 of your dancers in your city? I have done it. The result? Fascinating…..

Yes? Now, stop reading and pause and think about it connecting this regret with your dance experience.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

“This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”

Here is the hardest regret. When you dance, we do not realize the chance we have to be a dancer. Enjoying the present moment and expressing gratitude is what you need as a dancer. I recommend to appreciate the chance you have got along your dance journey. Do you have gratitude for your health? For your body? For your dance mates? For the singers? The Dj’s? The organizers? your teacher? Yourself? The community? Having gratitude starts by saying loudly or just mentally: “thank you”.

You can be the happiest dancer but the external features are only 10% responsible of your happiness state as a dancer. The happiness in your dance journey is 90% created by you. it comes from you. So good news today, you can fight with this “regret” by creating the happiness. You have it in you.

Yes? Now, stop reading and pause and think about it connecting this regret with your dance experience.

What’s your greatest regret so far, and what will you set out to achieve or change before you die as a dancer?

 

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