The 4.5 fears of learning Bachata
You are about making the best decision of the year: starting dancing bachata. You want to boot yourself, your life, your free time. The practice of bachata is a great choice because it is a shortcut to happiness. And unlike salsa, bachata can be learned faster. So, great strategy if you start today or restart after a long period of absence (did you broke up with your boyfriend or girl friend? :D).
Behind the shiny paradize of the start there is…hell. Do not worry this is the normal process. better to start in hell and smoothly open the gate of paradize than the contrary right?
Here a summary of the 5 stages which will take you from the “fear” stage to the “hey i have got it, eureka” stage.
Stage 1: I am affraid…
You decide and start taking lesson. Great, because except if you have a natural talent, everyone must start from taking classes of bachata. And congratulations to you because it is a huge step already. You are ready for the uncomfort zone?
Not really right? You are feeling fear and insecurity. We all live with that innate fear of our own inability, insecurity, feeling uncoordinated, and not knowing what to expect.
What is the first thing a baby does? He or she cries as much as he or she can. We are born with a deep fear.
You see in youtube and on all the social network how the entire world is better than you in dance right? This is not helping you to get self confidence. But this is your first challenge. Overcoming this fear is the first step to becoming a successful dancer. A tip to pass it? Accept this fear and have the faith that in 1 year looking back, you will laugh at this innitial stage.
Stage 2: Trust issues: you do not trust in yourself and in your partner.
You do not trust in your partner because you do not trust in yourself first. Your dance experience reveals who you are. As a new bachata dancer, the dancefloor is like a big carpet on fire and the beauty of the dance is just a myth for you. And i understand you. The reality is now what “Walt Diney (=Youtube)” predicts…
Consciously or not, you have serious trust issues. In reality there are multiple attitudes which can verify it. The most famous one? The number of times that you will look down to make sure that your feet are exactly where you need them to be. They are attached right? How many times do you cross the eye of your partner in the 4min of the song? 1.5 times? Bravoooooo,
We are similar. I was like that too and everytime i looked at my partner i could not stop laughing inside me. i felt fizzy. So, yes i understand you.
Once thing more, I can tell the lack of trust in your partner by the death grip that you have on them. Please have no worries, this too shall pass in time. Do you want a miracle advice? You also need to accept this state and stage. Good news, this is just temporary…
Stage 3: Awkward, the “clown stage”.
The boys will invite you. The girls will accept your dance invitation. In both situations, you will feel like you will offer them a hell moment. A bizarre dance experience. You feel like a burden. They are dancers and you are a…clown 😀 They expect an amazing dance like the one they have got with the previous partner when you are just trying to…breath and put away the panic you have inside you. You have the feeling you walk instead of dancing right?
So, if you feel it, it means you are on the “clown” stage. this is hard to experience. No one wants to feel awkward, but in dancing this is natural. You can be awkward but my tip is : the more you dance during this sensitive period, the more the clown dance period will be shorter. The thing is to be a clown for the shortest period possible.
Being awkward is the point in your dancing when you have learned it theoretically or mentally, but it has still not fully transferred into your body. The constant application of it, better known as dance practice, is what will get you through to the next stage.
Stage 4: Damn, I’ve lost what i learned
You have got your first courses and dances. As this is a new discipline for you, your learning progress is slow. Your brain is not used to it. The teacher talks, teaches, experience with you and your dancemates but the information does not get in. Your brain and will have natural limits.
You know that its in the stack somewhere, but you just can’t seem to find it. One day its there and working for you, but the next day it seems to have slipped beneath your chair. You need to accept it.
But, there is a serie of tips: have regular courses and dance experience to educate your brain and by repeating a step or a new dance routine, you will help your brain to recognize this routine which will become a routine for your brain too. Imagine your course in your mind, repeat it at home as if the partner were with you, do it in a private practise and then on the public dancefloor where all the fears appear and disappear.
Stage 5: Damn, I have got it!
You can be proud of yourself, you have made it through! You can now say that you not only have been taught how to dance bachata, but you can physically own it. You understand both mentally and physically what it is that you have to do. You have to put forth very little effort to get to work for you. Most of all, you are now that dancer that the new ones look up to; after all, you are now where they want to be.You will follow this process a stage after a stage untill the people will enjoy watching you on the stage for your first show?
Yes, an intention can give you a motivation, a faith, a direction which are stronger than a serie of fears. Work on your dance goal, dance motivation and the vision of the dancer you want to become. This will save you in cas of doubt and also in case of over-estimation when you will get your first serie of successes as a dancer. The most challenging part is not to manage the period of doubt and fears but the period of the success. The question “what to do after and how to be” is a question you will have time to answer with me here on bachata-influence.com.
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