“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.”Albert Schweitzer
Why I’m Choosing Happiness Before Success in Bachata?
Researchers have focused a lot more on happiness in the past few years and science has finally started to pay attention to what it really means to be happy.
Happiness is a goal that many people aspire to. Most people also have a strong desire to be successful in life and they tend to believe that through this success they will automatically become happier.
Now, ask yourself :
Are you a happy dancer?
Are you a successful dancer?
Being Happy dancer is more Important than being a successful dancer for you?
Are you also running that race towards being successful, rather than being happy?
So in light of all of this, we have to ask ourselves, which comes first – happiness or success?
To make things a little simpler, let’s take a look at the following points and understand the difference between ‘being successful’ and ‘being happy’.
⦁ Success means living a dance life with plans. Happiness is living a dance life with passion.
⦁ Success is working for your own betterment. Happiness is working for others.
⦁ Success means striving for more. Happiness is being contented with whatever you have.
⦁ Success is having enough wealth. Happiness is in having healthy relationships.
The Relationship Between Dance Happiness and Dance Success
Let’s have a brainstorming together.
If happiness comes first, then you must surmise that you have to figure out how to be happy before your success will come rolling in. There are most likely millions of people in the world who deem themselves happy, while not necessarily successful, as there are successful people still trying to figure out how to be happy. On the other side of the coin is the idea of success coming first, before happiness. There are most likely millions of people in the world who would disagree with you on that point because success does not guarantee happiness.
For many of us, happiness is something we aspire to. Happiness is somewhere we get to someday. What we fail to recognize is that happiness is a state of mind, not a destination.
We know happiness is not a static state, because even the happiest people feel blue sometimes.
The Difference Between (dance) happiness and (dance) success
Defining dance happiness is not an easy task. Everyone defines it differently. Even the omniscient Google does not have a definitive answer to the question. For the good reason that there is no single definition.
I have a reasonable compromise for you. Essentially it is living positive emotions of pleasure, while you dance, combined with a feeling deeper that your dance journey has a meaning and purpose.
Indeed, Martin Seligman, the pioneer of positive psychology, divided it into 3 components:
Those who seek only pleasure in dance therefore know only part of the benefits of happiness in dance. Aristote uses “Eudaimonia” translated as “the development of Man”. It is about YOUR development, your definition of happiness. This definition suits me perfectly.
The motor of your happiness in dance are positive emotions (sensations). Barbara Fredrickson, a researcher at the University of North Carolina, the world’s leading expert on the subject, describes 10 of the most common positive emotions:
Shawn Achor, the author of “Happiness Advantage” sets 7 principles enrolling science and positive psychology as a strong source.
Seven Principles of Happiness:
⦁ The happiness advantage: How happiness gives your brain the competitive edge.
⦁ The fulcrum and the lever: Changing your performance by changing your mindset.
⦁ The Tetris effect: Training your brain to capitalize on possibility.
⦁ Falling up: Capitalizing on the downs to build upward momentum.
⦁ The “Zorro” circle: How limiting your focus to small, manageable goals can expand your sphere of power.
⦁ The 20-second rule: How to turn bad habits into good ones by minimizing barriers to change.
⦁ Social investment: Why social support is your single greatest asset, or not to retreat into yourself.
Defining dance success can also be challenging.
The best definition of success may just be author Stephen Covey’s definition when he stated that success is deeply individual.
“If you carefully consider what you want to be said of you in the funeral experience, you will find your definition of success.”
Thinking of how you would best define your dance life and your idea of dance success at your deathbed, may, in fact, be the best way to get crystal clear on your idea of dance success.
Does dance success bring happiness and fulfillment in your dance journey?
Each of us is taught at a young age that achieving certain milestones of success in life is important.
In dance we can say “when i will be a good dancer then i will be happy”. But the formula is old fashioned…
We work to do well in school, work to get into college, work to have a prestigious career, and then work on living in the right house or marrying the right person.There is a misconception that each of these things will make us happy. The truth may very well be that none of these things really have anything to do with our level of happiness. What really happens is we reach our individual goals and feel happy for a while. Eventually, we discover we need to set new goals to achieve an even higher level of success to get the same buzz.
“There will always be more to achieve.” We need to change our mindset as a dancer.
Alan Watts said this about getting to the end of our lives after chasing the illusive next thing: “But we missed the whole point all along, it was a musical thing and you were supposed to sing or to dance whilst the music was being played.”
There will always be more. More success . More money, bigger houses, faster cars. We have to decide, at what point we are ‘’there’’? What if we were there now? What if we already have everything we need to be content and simply enjoy our lives, even if there’s more we’d like in the future?
All of this begs the question – does success bring happiness and fulfillment?
First of all, there is a big prejudice. For generations, we have been led to believe that happiness revolves around success. That if we work hard enough as a dancer that we would succeed and only if we succeed will we be happy. Problem: While we pursue our goals of success, happiness does not count…
But reality is different. Now, advances in positive psychology teach us the opposite. When we are happy, when our state of mind and mood are positive, we are more intelligent, more motivated and therefore more successful. Happiness is the center of success and success revolves around it. Those who are extraordinarily happy attract success with their positive attitude and enthusiasm.
If you really had to choose between pursuing a list of achievements that might make you happy to feeling happy and letting success come to you naturally, which do you think would be simpler in the end? Read twice the question until you mature it.
Knowing this, it’s also important to examine some things you can do to feel happy at the moment.
9 Science-Backed Ways to Become a Happier bachata dancer
How can you fuel your happiness in dance?
Express gratitude: Expressing gratitude and feeling grateful can go a long way to happiness and joy. You can be thankful for many things such as your health which allows you to move your body and dance.
⦁ Practice something challenging: Keeping your brain active by practicing something challenging is another good tip. Learning a new step and combination. activate your natural endorphins or feel-good chemicals in the brain.
⦁ Connect with someone: Making powerful connections and connecting with other people is integral to your level of happiness and fulfillment in life. That is why dance connection in social dance is so much important.
⦁ Stop procrastinating: Getting things done helps you feel proactive and prideful.
⦁ Be intellectually curious: Never stop learning or being curious! Reading a new book about dance, watching a dance documentary or having meaningful conversations with your dance mates or teacher can help you feel better too.
⦁ Be open to new experiences,it can also help you boost your level of happiness. have you ever danced with two girls at once? Invited by two boys?
⦁ Express physical affection: According to Virginia Satir, a respected American therapist, each of us needs four hugs a day just for survival! Eight hugs a day are suggested for maintenance and twelve hugs a day are suggested for growth. That is why i recommend 1 hug after every dance at party to create a sharing and communicative happiness. We know it but do we do it? Action make the experience my friends.
⦁ Have compassion: those who are interested in other’s lives and other’s stories are usually happier than those solely concerned with themselves. So in one word: stop thinking about your ass and listen proactlively your dance mates. Yes, if you are just interested in you, you will be isolated in your dance community. Related article to offer affection after your bachata dance.
⦁ Strengthen your relationships: Dale Carnegie’s famous book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” is a classic and helps a lot to reinforce your positive social influence. In a study entitled “Very happy people”, researchers wanted to highlight the characteristics of the 10% of us who are the most fulfilled. Do they all live in a warm climate? Are they all rich? Are they all physically healthy? It turns out that there was only one characteristic that distinguished these 10% from the others: the strength of their social relationships. The lack of social relationships is as deadly as some diseases!
5-Boost your happiness in dance by reading books? Yes this is not a joke.
⦁ The How of Happiness – Sonja Lyubomirsky
⦁ Flourish – Martin Seligman
⦁ Thinking Fast and Slow – Daniel Kahneman
⦁ The Power of Habit – Charles Duhigg
⦁ The Happiness Advantage – Shawn Achor
The last one is the one i have read (several times) and which i recommend.
Shawn Achor, the author of The Happiness Advantage, suggests that happiness fuels success, not the other way around. Published in 2010, the book helps you think differently in terms of what happiness and success are truly about. According to the book, chasing after success, in the hopes that it will make you happy is not a plan that works for most people.
The book focuses on strategies that help create happiness in the moment while capitalizing on its many benefits when it comes to becoming more successful.
Achor promotes happiness first, success second. In Achor’s opinion, happiness leads to success much more than success leads to happiness. According to the author, we become more successful when we are happier and more positive.
According to Achor, more than a decade of groundbreaking research in the field of positive psychology and neuroscience has proven that the relationship between happiness and success works the opposite of what we think, which is very refreshing thought.
10 Quotes on Dance Happiness and Dance Success
“Dance happiness is not something you postpone in the future. It’s something you design for the present”
“Think back a year ago. Look how far you’ve come. Appreciate the dancer you have become”
“If you see negativity in your dance community, act the opposite way. it will train your brain to always be a winner, no matter what’s happening”
“Dance,fail, try again & fail better”
“Try to be the rainbow of a a pessimistic dancer”
“Never go onboard of the blame-Shame-Complain train. Never’
“Action may not always bring you happiness. But there is no happiness without action”
“Tell me one thing you are grateful for today about your dance experience”
“Correct a fool and he will hate you. Correct a wise dancer and he will appreciate you”
“The problem is not the current dance issue. The problem is your attitude about the dance issue”
My happiness now will attract success in the future.
Some people prefer being a successful dancer…
Are you living with the constant thought of “not having enough”? Are you always chasing something bigger and better? This will undoubtedly leave you empty and tired. You are missing out a lot of things that you have right now. Shift your focus towards all that you have in hand. Instead of just being an accumulator, start sharing what you have and watch your happiness skyrocket. The wiser ones know that “Chasing happiness can chase it away!” With this journey we’re on, the assumption is that once we’re “there,” once we’ve “made it,” we’ll be happy. In other words, once we have success we’ll be happy. What if it was the other way around?
…I have made the choice to be a happy dancer.
I’ve made a conscious effort over the last few months to make my happiness a priority. I’ve started to live my life my way. As a result, I’m attracting the types of opportunities, experiences, and people I want to into my life. By doing things that feel right for me, I’m naturally aligning with the right people and situations.
I’m also reinforcing to myself that I have everything I need. I’m already complete, I’m already enough, and I can feel good right now regardless of what kind of success I achieve in the future. I’m dancing to the music now, rather than delaying. And that, to me, is its own kind of success.
I’ve given up delaying how I wish to feel in the future and started creating those feelings now.
I choose happiness now, success will follow.
Thank you for reading this article and thank you for supporting Bachata Infuence.
You are the influencer within your community so invite your dance mate to like, and integrate the Bachata community of dancers with education, human values and positive mindset.
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